I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
