Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
