Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
