her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
