You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
