Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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