My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
