You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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