So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
