My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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