We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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