i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
