sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
