Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
