K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
