they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
