I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
