i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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