i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
