Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
false alarm. still invincible.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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