State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
