I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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