absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
