It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
