i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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