If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
