What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
