Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
