I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
