it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
