It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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