grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This toilet bowl is my home.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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