goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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