A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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