so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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