Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Mom said you looked used
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
