Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
