If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
