i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
