hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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