Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Actions speak louder than pants.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
