Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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