you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
