apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
