Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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