So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
