i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
