We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
