just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
