hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
