I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
