What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
