I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
